These days there is serious lack of ideas... Nothing really comes to my mind... And I hover near the edge of normality & abnormality... Both Mentally & Statistically... People seem to be strange nowadays... Rarely do I find "normal" people & whenever I think of normal what comes first is the Normal Distribution... Shucks!!! I guess I'm the one who is normally abnormal here & the rest are all abnormally normal... Crazy stuff... Well I guess thats expected when you have a month, coming up, full of places trying to test you for things which you have supposedly been thorough with in the past 3 years... Sadly all I learnt is procrastination & I'm sure that knowledge doesn't matter for the approaching months of doom(or glory???)... I think as usual without using my brains... That's what I'm doing now... Even a "brainless" thought can run upto 10 lines of a post... Interesting... Guess this is what normality is all about... (Or is it abnormality???)
A phase like this, I guess, comes in everyone's life..... Well not really once but many times or if some are like me it doesn't ever come (or go)... it perpetually stays on..... U must be wondering what crap I'm talking about... Well I'm talking about this eternal, perennial & (all words that mean permanent) state of laziness..... A feeling of deep relaxation mixed with a nagging sense of insecurity about the future.... Deadly combination I must say..... So here I am lazing away & building, not castles, but entire cities in the air...... Well the cities lack proper foundation & its just a matter of time before everything disappears in a flash & I find the world has moved on & I'm still waiting to catch the bus to success.... But you never learn until you have experienced it.... I guess I'll learn it soon on my own... Till then let me continue being "Le Corbusier of the Air"..... After all, all I do is build cities in the air!!!
Its fun to see what my fellow bloggers have been upto recently..... Well some have just started & yet have managed to transform their blog into a "butterfly" from the first day look of a "morbid caterpillar".... Some have been taking leave from the blogosphere only to return the very next day to write 3-4 posts at 1 go....Well so there seems to be serious bloggin going on.... You may ask what have I been upto.... Well nothing really.... Just wasting time in my own sweet way.... Not that its very pleasant but.... That's the way I like it.... But have decided to be more regular with this sudden aflatus of blogging from now on... From past experience I know this desire will be in me for a maximum of 24 hours.... That's a lot for me I guess... Another reason I returned to scribble here is due to few observations of my friends who read this blog of mine.... Comments varied from the usual highs to lows... Most of the observations were that my blog is an example of my depressed side of life.... (seems I've been writing another of those K-serial storyline,where invariably a happy family reaches the abyss of depression & the writer ends off writing 1000 episodes to take the family out of the mess).... Another observation is my blog is too abstract... Huh!!!! Well as far as my writings go they are much simpler than most people's amateurish try at making their blogs sound philosophical... Well I guess I'll try & change my blog a little & cut down on my depressing "figments of imagination"...(Uhhh...That sends me back to my school-days where I had to go through a book with same title to appear for my exams...Crap it was!!!)... Anyways before I pass off into another spate of frustration I'll sign off in a hurry..... With a smile that I'll let linger on...:)
My woman.......8 qualities??? I guess that's too many to have in a single woman....So let me describe her as My "Hypothetical" Woman....The qualities......1. She should be intelligent......(Quite important....other wise a type mismatch might occur)2. She should have a mind of her own & a sense of freedom.....(Not necessarily imagining herself to be a bird)3. Should be a person of controlled emotions & sensible sentiments.....4. She should be able to live with my (sick) sense of humour.....(Otherwise face my bad moods always...)5. Her mental "wavelength" should correspond to mine & her attitude should match mine....( I believe opposites remain opposites...they rarely come close....)6. She should be person with a huge heart (well not literally) to forgive me....7. Need not be an angel in terms of beauty but socially accepted concept of being "cute" should be present in her...And Most Importantly......8. Any girl who has had the tenacity to read all the above points qualifies as my "hypothetical" woman...(nearly)......
So that is my list of must-haves.... I guess my demand isn't much & sure to be fulfilled soon......N.B.: The above points are not in order of preference and is subject to periodic mood swings.... Hence any above stated point is in potential danger of losin out in importance...(except point no. 8 which is applicable even if I'm held at gun-point & asked to change my preferences....)
0, 46, 25, 743, 8938, 902747, 95739, 91, 12546, 48, 646164, 634............. My Limits have been tested & the tests haven't been Continuous... Time and again I've been Differentiated from the rest & never ever had the opportunity to Integrate myself with this subject...... You might be wondering.... Maths phobia???? Naaaaaaah!! I guess its peer-phobia....(new word...just invented...) Well I think I should concentrate on the numbers & let them do the talking this time... Hope they become friendly & give me good company... Let me have numerical friends this time rather than humans.... Atleast they won't hurt... Confused???? Don't try getting the meaning.... It wouldn't be of much use....
Honesty is the best policy... We all have learnt it from childhood... When we were young we always made it a point not to cheat in the exams.... We were so possessive about our answers... Trying to stop others from cheating by almost lying down on the paper... And when everything failed.... "Maaaaaaam, this boy is cheating from my copy......" Well the days of innocence are gone... We thrive on a symbiotic relationship now... You show me & I'll show you....( well the answers.....incase you were thinking something different...) We now believe in sharing of workload...."You do this part & I'll cover the rest..." When you were young you have inevitably always said.... "Ooo... you don't know this????....I know more than you..." Well the scenario has changed... "Oh... I don't know these!!!!....Please show these answers in the exam..." The picture has definitely changed.... But there's beauty in both the pictures.... Innocence has paved way for "examination camarederie"... So what??? We enjoyed our "copy" privacy then & we enjoy our "copy rights" now.... We are happy the way are.... and as long as we are happy nothing else matters....
It surely is fast & is already way ahead..... I'm desperately trying to keep up with it..... But no matter how much I try it just keeps getting faster.... It makes me feel that I haven't even tried running..... But I'm determined this time I'll give it a tough fight & I'm determined to win..... I'm definitely prepared to go ahead of Life.... I'll have to win The Race this time.....
The winter season is almost over & I now have few views to share.... A "Bong" appreciation no doubt but still worth observing....One phrase every Bengali worth his sweater has grown up with is 'thanda lege jabey'. It is the ultimate warning of impending doom. Thanda lege jabey. Thou shalt 'catch the cold'.
'Catching the cold' comes easy to Bengalis. It's a skill that's acquired almost immediately after birth. Watch a Bengali baby and you would know. Wrapped in layers of warm clothing even if the sun is melting the pot-hole ridden roads, the baby learns quickly that his chances of survival in this household depend on how tightly he can wrap himself in cotton, linen and wool(sorry for leaving other types of cloth). Bengalis have almost romanticised warm clothing, so much so that Bengali art has found eloquent expression in a form of quilt-stitchwork called "kantha"(a crude medium to kill the chill but effective....)...
I'm sure wool-shearers even in faraway Australia say a silent prayer to Bengalis before the shearing season (if there's any such season). I'm also sure the very thought of Bengalis sends a chill down the spine of many a sheep.
In winter, the quintessential Bengali's outfit puts the polar bear to shame.
Packaged in at least seven layers of clothing and the head snugly packed inside the queerest headgear, the monkey cap(bengalis I guess haven't been able to detach themselves from their pre-historic anscestors!!!), he takes the chill head on(literally...no wonder the monkey cap is so essential). Easy lies the head that wears the monkey cap. With a pom-pom at the top, it's not just a fashion statement; it's a complete fashion essay!!
For a race that is perpetually running scared of cold weather, Bengalis have a surprising affinity for hill stations too. "Kothay jachen??"...."Ei ektu darjeeling theke ghure ashbo bhabchi...."..(well the standard reply from most bengalis)...Its often paradoxical...A race petrified, terrified, stupified, horrified of the cold has this unending love for hill-stations...Well they seriously are a cool community....N.B.: This post has been written with due respect to the Bengali community keeping in mind that even I'm a part of it.... Any hint of disrespect should be severely ignored....
There are some people who are busy doing nothing important in life.... Yet they don't have time to view my blog... Curse them all.....Yes I'm talking about you....only YOU...Yes YOU... Feeling guilty???? Quickly post a comment & even if you are not feeling so be good and comment.... God bless your busy souls....
It's strange..... It's odd..... It's mysterious..... It definitely pisses me off & I feel like screaming.... Why... Why.... Why..... Well let "IT" find its own way.... Don't even bother.... I guess I don't really have it.... I think I never had it....
Life has become pretty mundane..... Same routine everyday.... Eat, sleep, try to study..... Nothin exiciting seems to be happening.... Where has all the chaos in my life disappeared?????
Why can't people write in a simple, easy to understand way??? Why do people have to go overboard to present themselves in a way they are not meant to be??? Why can't people stop thinking about themselves & think about others???........ There are so many more questions that are yet to be answered but before I find any answers another 1001 questions crowd my mind..... Have you ever tried peeping into a giant anthill? I guess not..... Our mind is much like an anthill.... Peep into it and you'll find ant trails in the form of thought chains converging & diverging into some point or leaving some point..... Every thought in our mind has a purpose but seldom are they fulfilled & hence we are left with more questions than answers..... Try organizing these ant-trails & you'll find yourself relaxed, calmed down & life too won't be as troubled as it seemed .... Actually it's all in the Anthill.....I mean It's all in the Mind.... Try it.... You'll feel better.... Confused???? Now that's what I call "Food for Thought" or rather food for your "ant-trails"....... Enjoy the New Year....
I hate it when everything settles..... Even the dreams disappear & so do the thoughts..... Everything should be in a state of unrest.... In it lies the hopes of everything changing for the better..... Atleast it gives you hope of something.... But when everything settles what remains is calmness..... And it doesn't even give the sign of a storm.... Let there be complete chaos in my life.....
Everything comes to an end & so will this year..... Memories it will leave in the niches of my mind.... But was it a good year or a bad one???? I won't think that way.... I'll just take a cup of steaming coffee, curl up on my couch & think about the passing year..... Every end opens the door to a new beginning..... New thoughts...... New hopes.... New friends..... New desires.... New dreams...... No wonder its called the New Year..... Dreams to be fulfilled.... And yet new dreams will be seen.... How wonderful the times are..... But how long will they stay??? Oh the memories flow & so do my thoughts..... Confusing... Aren't they??? Yet I find them sensible..... I'll live with these memories for days to come.... Or perhaps Years to come..... Spend the coming Year wisely & well.......
This post is for my friends who wanted me to write a happy post (namely Aar Bee)..... Well I'm immensely happy today.... Had an awesome dinner at my friend's place.... It's after such a long time that I had such a nice & "cute" dinner..... Hey Ru if aunty's around show her this.... THANK YOU AUNTY..... Anyways.... It's festive season & the season has begun with a nice party..... This party had its usual display of awful timings of comments.....(Thanx Jitz....) and the nice "adda" on the roof was an added pleasure.... Over all it was a happy day & an immensely enjoyable one.... It's nice to know that the clown is smiling again..... Enjoy....
He wasn't exactly the person to get bored with life...... He wasn't even the person to think about boredom.... But life did amazing things to him.... The dilapidated buildings & the often dirty paths were once heaven to him.... He was so happy.... But good things never last for long.... The buildings have changed & so have the people in it.... The paths are cleaner but not for him.... He is unsure of what he does.... Rarely does he think now coz thoughts are not as pleasant as they used to be.... He has started to feel claustrophobic even in open air..... May be all his openness is forcing him back into his shell.... But alas he has lost his shell!!! He lies there unprotected & uncared for..... He has numerous aquantainces but rarely are they receptive to his feelings.... His laughter has lost its ring & what remains is hollowness.... He wants things to change.... For better.... But unfortunately he has changed..... Life has changed him.... He is fighting to stop this mutation.... But it seems to be losing battle.... The end seems near & the paths & the buildings are about to disappear.... Tears have replaced the smile on the Joker's face.... The "LIFE CIRCUS" has left town & he has been left behind.... He doesn't accept defeat.... He waits for a miracle to happen....
Its strange how most people seem to expect friendship between a girl & a boy to be always having a touch of love, passion & ending up in some situations in a bed..... But thats not always the case..... Friendship with the opposite sex, as I have found out, needn't always be a romantic one..... A girl can be friends with a guy & vice versa without being attracted physically.... It can often be due to a mutual respect for each other...... The point is relationships like these should be given due respect without being taunted at.... After all if you are a human being, the opposite sex is so too..... Let friendship between a girl & a boy stay on if only for the greater cause of humanity (no matter how tempting it might be to attach a flavour of romance)...... Its the virtue of living things to make friends & we are not dead people....
Whenever I read my friends' blogs a sense of inferiority comes over me..... Its wierd.... I feel I don't know anything & absolutely incapable of putting some coherent thoughts into my posts.... But the very next moment I realize "I am what I am" & I am happy to put forward my posts in a simple (at times in a way a 10 year old kid would write) way..... Anyways I have to grow up I guess and be more mature in my writings.....As my friend aar bee rightly pointed out, its always sad, depressed & lonely.... Have to write about happier things.... I'll try that in my next post but till then................... WAIT.....
